


vicious and aegis’ adventure at the zoo

by sureimiku



Category: Tales of Crestoria
Genre: Awkward Dates, Cows, Fist Fights, M/M, Swearing, Taco Bell, Zoo, crackfic, mild violence, strawberry freeze
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sureimiku/pseuds/sureimiku
Summary: Aegis and Vicious spend a date at the zoo.Needless to say, it goes udderly wrong.
Relationships: Aegis Alver/Vicious
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	vicious and aegis’ adventure at the zoo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sorunort](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorunort/gifts).



> plz dont ask what spurred this fic. i dont want to think abt it.  
> however sam made some very LOVELY art which u can check out here: https://twitter.com/sorunort/status/1361546132934045697?s=20
> 
> enjoy xoxoxo

It was a very lovely Saturday afternoon when Vicious decided to take his lovely boyfriend, Aegis Alver, to the zoo for a date. It wasn’t anything special, well to Aegis it was- this was the first time Vicious had ever thought of taking them anywhere. Aegis always offered to stay at home or even go to the park for their dates but not a whole ass _zoo_.

For some reason the zoo had a Taco Bell so Vicious got an Extra Large Strawberry Freeze. Perfect. Nothing made Vicious happier than having a very cold drink in his left hand and his boyfriend’s hand in the other. They’d visited several exhibits at the zoo. The hippos, giraffes, and the monkey exhibit. Aegis especially enjoyed this one since it strongly reminded him of the man next to him. 

“The hell you laughin’ at?” 

“The monkeys. They remind me of you. Look, that one is throwing his banana at the other one.” yes this was the exact image in front of them: a monkey was up in a tree hurling bananas at a smaller one on the ground. poor thing. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Ah yes. Very endearing words, when it came from the man, the myth, the _legend_ Vicious. “Let’s go somewhere else.” The monkey exhibit left a bad taste in Vicious’ mouth like why the hell would your boyfriend compare you to an animal that says oo oo ah ah.

However! The monkeys weren’t the worst thing he had ever seen in his entire life. Instead it was a large animal with a bright pink udder (i don’t think theyre bright pink but it’s okay), black and white spots, and walked slower than the amount of time aegis spent in the shower every morning.

Aegis immediately took note of Vicious; face. “What's wrong—

“The FUCK?” The tone of his voice was utterly disgusted, appalled that a creature could look this. Fucking. Ugly. 

“Babe…” a light pink blush spread across aegis’ cheeks when vicious tightened his grip around his hand. ok, now it was starting to hurt. Almost as if vicious was taking his anger from the cow out on his own partner.

“Moo.”

“Haaah?! Ya got business with _me_ , the Great Transgressor!? I’ll settle things with you right here, _right now_.” Vicious was now angrily slurping his Ultra Large Strawberry Freeze from Taco Bell. No way was this abomination of an animal going to ruin his day, no way was it going to dare to outclass the silver-haired man standing next to him—

“Moo.”

“Now you’re just askin’ for it!” And without another second to waste Vicious started charging towards the cow. And then landed a killer punch with HIS OWN TWO HANDS!!! The cow got knocked back but it recovered like how you recover from a knock-back in modern tales games. Then it charged at Vicious and landed an ugly scar on his cheek. 

“You think I’m givin’ up!?” And then BOOM Vicious knocked the cow on the ground again. It didn’t get up this time. "You wanna own your moo, or let your moo own you?"

“babe…” aegis breathed, staring at the cow on the ground, the spilled Extra Large Strawberry Freeze, and Vicious wiping a blood smear off his cheek. It even got on his dark colored button down t-shirt, which he was very upset about, because that was the only gift he ever received for his birthday this year.

“Hey hold my strawberry freeze for a sec i gotta clean my shirt” Vicious turned to Aegis and right when he dropped the drink into his hands, sirens could be heard in the distance.

“YOUrE UNDER ARREST FOR TRESPASSING AND VIOLENCE” one of the zoo officers screamed and body slammed Vicious into the dirt. Now his shirt was ruined even more! Dirt and his Extra Large Strawberry Freeze were sprawled all over it. “don’t move we will do something bad if you do”

“Like what bitch. i am the great transgressor i will fucking shove my strawberry freeze up your ass”

“Arrest him.”

“BABE” Aegis yelled, but when he made eye contact with Vicious his heart quite literally skipped a beat. Now, aegis was just now realizing that vicious stood up for him against that cow, because he loved him. not because he disliked the appearance, but because vicious couldn’t dare to see Aegis get hurt on their day out.

“babe, you.. you did this for me?” aegis dared to speak amidst the tension.

“no i just thought that cow was an ugly mf lol” despite being dragged by the legs to the officer’s car, Vicious still had that snarky tone in his voice like he didn’t give a shit. but also, when does Vicious ever give a shit. so their lovely date was concluded with vicious being driven away to jail and aegis watching gazingly into the sunset. maybe next time their zoo visit would be a bit more pleasant…

Aegis’ day was udderly awful.

**Author's Note:**

> I didnt proofread this but i think that adds to the charm


End file.
